Though I need no reason, I’ll give you one anyway.
Every day, I’ll wake you with a smile and a hug so that I might show you each day must be met by bold gestures for the ones we love.
Continue reading “Though I Need No Reason”
Before you, I was free.
I had my choice of the time of day I woke up.
My breakfast, lunch, and dinner were all prepared one serving at a time, strictly to my liking.
Privacy and choices were as abundant as air and light.
I was accountable for every decision I made, because I was the only one who had to live with their consequences.
Living life was comfortable, and that’s how I liked it.
I couldn’t imagine living anywhere but here.
Then, the news came.
Two red lines where there should be one.
In a split second, my definition of manhood disintegrated, and as the dust settled, all that remained was one word, that label of which I was informed I would become soon.
Dad.
Contemplating this fork in the road, I wanted to be anywhere but here.
Before long, my freedom would inevitably fizzle.
I would have to wake up all hours of the night and early on the weekends.
My meals would be dictated by when you were hungry, eaten only after you were satisfied.
Privacy would become a precious commodity found only within the fortress of solitude that is a locked bathroom.
Choice would become a satellite orbiting your world, fully dependent upon your comfort, your safety, your wellbeing, and above all, your happiness.
Living life would forever become a complex web of neverending dilemmas, anxiety-ridden burdens, and seemingly incurable worries.
Now, that’s how I love it.
As a man, I helped make you a child.
As my child, you made me a father
Today, I can’t see myself happier.
Anywhere but here.
A “post-poem” for my children…
Let it be me
When you find a roly-poly under a rock, whose feet tickle the palms of your hands and make you squeal with delight, and your excitement to show another living soul simply cannot be contained a second longer…
Let it be me.
Not a dad who is too busy.
Not a dad who has one more email to answer.
Not a dad with the uninterruptible daily routine.
When your math homework gives you a headache so bad that it makes you want to break your #2 pencil in two, wad up your homework sheet, and throw it across the room, and you need someone to talk you down…
Let it be me.
Not a man who doesn’t know the first thing about Euclidean proofs.
Not a man who lacks just enough compassion to realize that struggling only does so much good.
Not a man with the missing satellite remote and an insufferable commercial break.
When your boyfriend does something so unspeakable that it shatters your faith in love or your girlfriend rips out your soul, leaving you an empty shell, but in either case, all you need is a set of familiar arms to hold you, rock you back & forth, and remind you that life can & will go on…
Let it be me.
Not a father who has let life harden him to the core.
Not a father who has suffered and wants others to suffer, too.
Not a father harboring jealousy for your trusting nature.
When the world comes shouting, berating, minimizing, and scolding, beating back your will with subjugating castigation to the point where you no longer believe in the power of your dreams, and all you want is someone to make you feel meaningful again…
Let it be me.
Not someone who never recovered from burnout.
Not someone who was never told it couldn’t be done.
Not someone who couldn’t stare the world back when it did the same to him.
Let it be me.
Not a dad who is too busy.
Not a dad who has one more email to answer.
Not a dad with the uninterruptible daily routine.
When your math homework gives you a headache so bad that it makes you want to break your #2 pencil in two, wad up your homework sheet, and throw it across the room, and you need someone to talk you down…
Let it be me.
Not a man who doesn’t know the first thing about Euclidean proofs.
Not a man who lacks just enough compassion to realize that struggling only does so much good.
Not a man with the missing satellite remote and an insufferable commercial break.
When your boyfriend does something so unspeakable that it shatters your faith in love or your girlfriend rips out your soul, leaving you an empty shell, but in either case, all you need is a set of familiar arms to hold you, rock you back & forth, and remind you that life can & will go on…
Let it be me.
Not a father who has let life harden him to the core.
Not a father who has suffered and wants others to suffer, too.
Not a father harboring jealousy for your trusting nature.
When the world comes shouting, berating, minimizing, and scolding, beating back your will with subjugating castigation to the point where you no longer believe in the power of your dreams, and all you want is someone to make you feel meaningful again…
Let it be me.
Not someone who never recovered from burnout.
Not someone who was never told it couldn’t be done.
Not someone who couldn’t stare the world back when it did the same to him.
Whatever it is you need from life, my loves…
Please.
Let it be me.
. . . then there are those magical moments between worlds, when we wait upon the silence and cast our gaze into the lights. The wind serenades us with the melody of a thousand years and trees dance to a rhythm of immemorial joy. Our palms caress crusted tips of wild grass as we comb through the meadow without words, yet mysteriously hearing their meanings echo among the chatter of nature. A smile and bright, wondrous eyes light the path ahead while we leave our cares behind for another day, another moment, but not this one.
Today, we soak it all in, unfettered by definition or explanation.
Today, we roam.
Today, we marvel.
Today is ours.
Sadly, I have not posted anything original here in a couple of weeks, and for that, I apologize. Life has been crazy as I wrap up my doctoral dissertation. The final sign-off date is two weeks from today, and from that point forward, I will have two things going for me: 1) I will have gobs more time to spend with my family, and 2) all that time will free me up to share with my readers that which I have gleaned through both research and experience.
To keep things moving, I thought I would share another poem, this time, by a lovely woman by the name of Sally Meyer:
To My Child
Poem written by Sally Meyer, copyright 1995
Poem written by Sally Meyer, copyright 1995
Just for this morning, I am going to smile
when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose
what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the
telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and
blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream
truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about
what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I
have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them. Just
for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy
Meal so you can have both toys..
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my
arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay
up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside
you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger
through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given
me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers
who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who
are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer
senselessly, and screaming inside that they can’t handle it anymore.
when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose
what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the
telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and
blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream
truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about
what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I
have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them. Just
for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy
Meal so you can have both toys..
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my
arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay
up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside
you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger
through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given
me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers
who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who
are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer
senselessly, and screaming inside that they can’t handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God
for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day……
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God
for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day……
Josh Misner, PhD 