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Josh Misner, PhD

Mindful Living in a Distracted World

School is Not for the Weak… Or Is It?

Behold, the wild geek in his natural habitat, singing Will Ferrell’s “Volcano Man” from Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga.

I opened an email from a college student this week that really struck me and ignited a somewhat dormant desire to write, so here am after, well, let’s just say a long time.

As they lamented the struggles of working while juggling college and family, it reminded me of my own story to an extent, since I hadn’t started college until the ripe old age of 28.

It felt ripe, okay? Viewing 28 in the rear-view from 48? Yeah, that looks a bit different.

Anyway, they nonchalantly stated in closing that “school is certainly not for the weak!”

And I agree, though the adage became a springboard from which I shall now go on to offer some unsolicited advice to anyone else who’s currently struggling through education and possibly wrestling with whether it’s all worth it.

Or, maybe this goes out to anyone who is considering beginning an educational journey late in life like I did. Okay, fine, not “late in life” but would you just stop judging me? Sheesh!

The student’s off-the-cuff adage, school is not for the weak, was one that I found sparked a curious thought that needed some unpacking, so I began wrestling with it for a while, chewing on it, digesting it, allowing my varied brain enzymes (brainzymes, if you will which just made the band name list) to break it down before addressing it here using the slightly less than focused ramblings birthed at 4AM in a Guatemala City hotel room.

See, I wanted to take the time to really articulate further what “school” and “weak” constitute for me, to see if the adage held up, and to do that, I needed some time to think. Being in Guatemala for work, I have approximately zero shortage of options to choose from (part of the problem is just that — having too many choices when you’re an ADHDude). Nevertheless, I picked out a bucket list checkpoint from childhood after I found out how cheap and accessible it was when I reached out to Viator.

I was about to cap off an unforgettable week full of randomized events by making my way up an active volcano.

And my unusually active, adventurous week featured:

  • A guest spot on a phenomenal podcast, The SoapyRao Show in an episode titled “The Creative Individual: Life skills to Navigate Technology and Channel Creativity”
  • I got 2 spur-of-the-moment tattoos — it wasn’t the designs that were spontaneous, but rather, the time, place, and artist. One is an homage to one of my favorite books of all, Stephen King’s IT, and the other really was spontaneous and drawn on my shoulder by the legendary Rob Zombie at a meet and greet.
  • I was party to… let’s call it an “adrenaline-producing event” that rattled me … pretty good.
  • And I had an enormously fun day with my colleagues at Irtra, a Disney-like theme park, though unlike its expensive and crowded cousin up north, Irtra’s lines are bearable, the food’s much better, and the variety of everything was outstanding.

Somewhere during all that time, I had an epiphany while reflecting on the statement, so if you will allow me, I’m gonna break it down.

Of course you’ll allow me. After all, this is my website.

School is not for those who consider themselves strong enough as-is. These types view the pursuit of further education in its formal state as unworthy of their time and effort. And why would they, given their belief that they have nothing left to learn?

If weakness = Fear, then school isn’t for the fearful, either. By that, I’m referring to anyone who makes decisions by veering into the direction their fears point them, whether that’s gravitating toward that which they never wanted but go toward anyway out of FOMO, but on the other hand, they may also avoid things because they’re afraid of what may actually happen.

Education, as a process, is fraught with fear, uncertainty — a lot like climbing an active volcano — but it imbues self-worth, confidence, and teaches us that life’s challenges, discomforts, and difficulties aren’t things to be avoided.

They are to be confronted if we hope to look back on a life story that’s genuinely worth telling. 

School, in its many healthy forms, is the perfect place to find oneself when they exhibit qualities that most others associate with weakness:

Meekness, humility, and service to others;

Openly and unabashedly fraily, shy, or bashful introversion;

Unsure, unconfident, anxious, inexperienced, yet seeking to find one’s place in the grand scheme.

And every last one of the frustrated, picked-on, passed-over adult learners who gave college one last shot in a Hail Mary attempt to use what time they have left to leave an indelible mark and legacy that their children might someday be proud of — like me.

In other words, I agree that school is definitely NOT for the weak.

I simply feel that what I consider “weak” as a seasoned educator isn’t what everyone else thinks, because I’ve seen weak become a strength.

… and right now, if you’re reading this and identify with what’s said here?

You are most definitely NOT weak, so hang in there. 

The Benefits of a Family Movie Night Tradition

A typical Friday evening as a 20-something single dude:

Meet friends for greasy bar food. Drink copious amounts of alcohol. Sing karaoke (quite badly). Dance even worse. Lose memory. Make questionable and regretful decisions. Repeat as necessary.

A typical Friday evening as a 40-something father of four:

Transform the living room, starting with a mattress base, then surrounded by our favorite stuffed animals, and top off with no less than 17 pillows and six blankets per person. Make a bucket of coconut oil and sea salt popcorn. Ensure steady supply of gummy cola bottles, Dots, and/or various forms of chocolate. Drape self with Snuggie. Gather remotes, power on the TV, close the curtains, turn out the lights, and make memories with kids.

Continue reading “The Benefits of a Family Movie Night Tradition”

50+ Essential Horror Movies: A Guide to Introducing Kids to the Genre

Before we jump in, first a bit of context. I’m presuming some parents might stop reading at this point, wondering why in the deep-fried holy hell they would even want to introduce their kids to the horror genre.

For this movie-loving father figure, horror is precisely where my love of film originated.

The horror genre provides a benefit few other film types can offer a view: catharsis. What is this mystical and semi-obscure idea?

Continue reading “50+ Essential Horror Movies: A Guide to Introducing Kids to the Genre”

89 Essential 80s Movies to Watch as a Family

Disclaimer: I was 5 (and a half) in 1980 and 14 (and a half) when we rang in the new year in 1990. That stated, get comfortable, because there’s a lot of ground to cover when it comes to 80s flicks.

I watched a fully rounded metric buttload (2.205 times larger than a SAE buttload) of movies as a kid, and as stated above, the 80s encompassed more than half of my childhood. Therefore, it’s understandable that I have a lot to say about my beloved childhood films, and even more obvious is the fact that I love to share those experiences with my kids.

Simply put, I watch a LOT of 80s movies with my children, often several nights each week. When we first started, I wasn’t sure how they would take them. After all, if my father had ever sat down to watch  a movie with me during the 80s and busted out some black and white movie from the early 1950s, then, well, no offense to classic movie lovers, but that’s a hard pass. With that in mind, when I offered to watch my faves with my two youngest children, I feared they would view them with similar disdain.

Boy, was I wrong and glad to be so. Movie nights featuring films from the 80s are my kids’ favorites, so I’m offering an essential lineup of films to watch with kids, and in doing so, I am including three items for each film: 1) Quick quote (first one that came to my mind), 2) My take on the significance of the film, and 3) My kids’ reactions to the movies where applicable. I’ve also included links to IMDB.com for each movie in case you want to learn more about them. I briefly entertained the idea of putting age recommendations on when to watch them for the first time, but then I realized how the comments section would ignite once other parents realized how terrible an influence I apparently have on my own children.

Continue reading “89 Essential 80s Movies to Watch as a Family”

Birthday Gift For a Fallen Hero: The Friend Who Lives On Forever

Thursday, April 29, 2021.

I wake up, groggy-eyed and out of it, most likely sometime near 9 or 10 AM because that’s how it is when you work from home and have an ADHD kid who won’t go to sleep until after midnight. I pick up my phone, randomly choose the first thing to warm up my synapses for the real work I’ll have to do later, and odds are, it’s Facebook.

And there it is.

“Your friend, Michael Skaife, and others have birthdays today. Send them g…”

Of course, the rest of the notification is truncated, but who TF cares.

Continue reading “Birthday Gift For a Fallen Hero: The Friend Who Lives On Forever”

The Damaging, Dangerous Illusion of Choice

Is The Coronavirus Outbreak Making You Anxious? Here's Why This ...

All too often, I’ve been in the position of either participating in or being a spectator to the following arguments:

  • Addiction is a choice. Why should my tax dollars go toward providing rehab and therapy for someone who chose to get high and party?
  • A lot of people choose to be homeless. I don’t know why, but maybe they’re just lazy and don’t want to work for a living. McDonald’s is always hiring, so I can’t understand why they don’t just get a job instead of holding a cardboard sign and begging all day.
  • I don’t believe in tipping waitstaff, baristas, or delivery drivers. They chose to work in a profession that pays horribly and relies on tips. If they don’t like it, just go find a better job.

Perhaps you have as well.

While each argument has numerous points deserving of debate, there’s a common denominator running through each that arguments fail to address: the illusion of choice. Continue reading “The Damaging, Dangerous Illusion of Choice”

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