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Josh Misner, PhD

Mindful Living in a Distracted World

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Listening

Anticipating Vinegar, Surprised by Honey: The Power of Civility

* The following was an invited talk held on January 15, 2025 at the Portneuf Inn of Court, Pocatello, ID

Civility is a concept that starts with presuming the best from others to promote respectful dialogue. Whether in a state or federal legislature, boardroom, courtroom, or living room, civility is a byproduct of mindful listening and the willingness to collaborate.

Civility is both honest and productive, though it’s also uncomfortable and fraught with uncertainty, requiring a surprising level of patience and care when speaking and listening. The responsibility of maintaining civility rests equally upon the shoulders of those participating.

But it’s also important to define what civility is NOT…

Civility is not shouting louder so you’re heard.

Civility is not domination, nor is it a contest to be won or lost.

Civility is not limited to being polite, affable, and orderly.

Civility does not commence with force, nor does it require luring someone into a conversation already loaded with the verbal equivalent of landmines.

Civil discourse begins with an invitation to share dialogue and exchange ideas — not agree on ideas — for the sole purpose of understanding.

And through understanding, we find progress, innovation, and we challenge both ourselves and others in the pursuit of growth.

Continue reading “Anticipating Vinegar, Surprised by Honey: The Power of Civility” →
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Suppressing the Screen to Set the Standard

is-screen-addiction-realTake a look at the following litany of quotes taken from actual interactions I’ve had with people close to me over the last week or so:

  • “Hang on a sec, I have to check us in.”
  • “Do that again, I want to get a picture of it!”
  • “That is so funny! I absolutely have to post that!”
  • “Of course I was listening! I just had to check to see if an important email came through yet.”

I’d like to think we all have those people in our lives. We all know these types – the ones so addicted to their phones or tablets that they actually plan their time around their interaction with the screen. Continue reading “Suppressing the Screen to Set the Standard” →

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Ditch the Agenda: A Father’s Day Challenge

research_agenda

If any of you are like me (which I’d like to think most people are, otherwise, I’m simply an anomaly), then whenever you spend time with your loved ones, there is an agenda.  For example, whenever my daughter asks me to perform one of Mike Adamick’s Awesome Science Projects with her, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about the next thing I have to do, once we’re done, like grading assignments in my online classes or mowing the lawn before it gets dark.  So what, you might ask?  We all do this.  Well, here’s the problem with it… Continue reading “Ditch the Agenda: A Father’s Day Challenge” →

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A New Definition of Leadership

Female Leader

Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, recently proposed that we ban the word “bossy.”  Her reasoning?

“When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a ‘leader.’ Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded ‘bossy.’ Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood.”

A little over a month ago, I posted a quote from Sandberg on my website’s Facebook page: “I want every little girl who is told she is bossy to be told she has leadership skills.”  The post ignited a firestorm of commentary.  However, my reasoning behind the post was for my daughters.  I want them to grow up in a world that values their leadership skills, especially considering the level of time and effort I am investing in teaching them these skills.  As a professor whose doctorate is in leadership studies, it was only a matter of time before I waded into the issue. Continue reading “A New Definition of Leadership” →

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